REWARD: 1 (one) shawarma + unlimited respect + the group chat unmuting you
📋 The Charges
Count 1: Aggravated ghosting of the group chat in the first degree.
Count 2: Leaving us on "seen" with reckless disregard for our feelings.
Count 3: Possession of excuses with intent to flake ("next week for sure bro").
Count 4: Operating a rocket (🚀) without informing mission control of the destination.
Count 5: Being too funny to be allowed to disappear. Unforgivable.
🔎 Last Seen
Where: Somewhere between "I'm coming" and never showing up.
Wearing: The aura of a man who said "5 min" 3 hours ago.
Vehicle: A rocket. Obviously. The man is literally named RocketMK.
Last words: "haha yeah we should hang out soon" (Dec 2025, never seen again).
📉 Group Vibe Status
Fun level without Mooshicritically low
3% 😭
Scientists confirm: the group's humor output has dropped 97% since the disappearance.
Memes go unlaughed at. Voice notes go unsent. It's grim out here, brother.
🚀 Mission: Bring Him Home
If found, do NOT approach with more excuses. Approach with snacks and a "we miss you bro."
(button legally binding. no take-backs. terms & conditions: just show up.)
🎉🚀🎉
HE LIVES!!!
The prophecy is fulfilled. RocketMK has re-entered the atmosphere. Group chat resuscitated. Shawarma is being prepared as we speak.